Section 6 Starting a Learning Group

Establishing the Learning Group - An Introductory Round

We invite you to convene the group for an introductory session where the members introduce themselves. This meeting is relaxed, informal and enjoyable. It would be valuable if all could bring some food and refreshments to share, or, zoom share if we are still apart post Covid-19!

In the introductory round participants are asked to share their name and invited to share “what interests me in coming to this group”.

Participants are asked to stay personal and only use “I” statements, not to give a list of personal achievements. We are all of equal value.

Names - Go Slowly and Honour Names!

Names are the first gift given to us, they are a statement of being cherished, and for many they are deeply imbued with significance in families, and sometimes too, in cultures.

Names are the deepest foundation in us. Many of us long remember the ways our names are used by different others and whether the tones are associated with particular people and particular settings - at times of love, rejection, comfort, confrontation and hopefully, friendship.

In conflicted relationships and in conflict affected societies, when people share their names, people immediately begin the experience of meeting difference. Sometimes, maybe for the first time, people might be in the presence of others they have been brought up to understand as being different and to be distrustful and even fearful of them.

In conflict affected societies the very names people have can, for some, have a cultural significance and evoke cultural fears or responses. In some societies particular names have become associated with different cultural groups and traditions, although there are always exceptions.

Being Sensitive to Members

As a facilitator the task is to:

• Create a space that honours all names.
• Support each person have their name heard, if necessary spelt and pronounced correctly.
• Ensure that no special significance is given to any name and that all are honoured.

In taking care of the group atmosphere at the very beginning, the facilitator creates a structure within which such sensitivities and difficulties are appreciated. A discussion around names, when well facilitated, generates new “space” between different people.

It is important that you, as the facilitator, do not permit the use of nicknames or shortened names, unless that particular person absolutely wishes to be known by their nickname. We have found that some people who have had nicknames used about them for many years, when given the chance, are so relieved to lay all the baggage associated with that nickname behind and ask to be known by their given name! In some groups these people have gained a new freedom.

We have also experienced times of great freedom in a group when people from minority cultures or traditions have had their full name used in a group, rather than give in to a majority shorthand being used, or an excuse such as “your name is very difficult to pronounce correctly”. Such moments are important facilitation turning points - they generate new experiences of respectful space between people.

Names are one of the deepest foundations in us. It is well known that as life ebbs away the last thing people hold on to is the sound of their name being said.

Establishing an open and trusting learning group is the focus of this beginning time².

2 We have used these materials in very large groups of fifty plus. Such a size might be daunting for some facilitators. If the group is large (say 24 plus members), an approach similar to the cafe type conversations might be developed to give people time to meet one another (see “Some group learning approaches - A ‘so called’ Cafe Conversation in the Appendix”).

Beginning the Discussion together at the initial meeting

After these initial round(s) each participant is asked, if they wish, to share something of their hopes for the learning group. These may be written up on a sheet by them (preferably) or by a scribe who checks that the words they use accurately reflects the person’s hopes.

Then at this point in the initial meeting, the programme themes for the group discussions can be introduced and group members invited to ask questions about the material and how the learning group will work together.

The Facilitator(s) Introduction

In a group coming together for the first time, it is important that the facilitator’s background does not become a block or obstacle between the members. When the facilitator does give any personal detail they should only share personal experiences relevant to assisting the group. We suggest this should be at the end of a time where everyone is sharing “who we are” and “my interest in being in this group”.

Establishing an open and trusting learning group is the focus of this time. (See the Model -Obstacle in Understanding Relationships!)

Being Sensitive to Unease - The Ways People Meet Together

If people are not affirmed and do not experience “having their place” in the welcome and introduction they receive, they will certainly try to generate their place at the expense of others as the group progresses. If such a charged atmosphere develops unchecked, many people quickly become isolated and vulnerable.

In facilitating in these ways, the group begins from the “common ground” of working at their relationships. In such experiences members experience ways of being together that promote acceptance and freedom grow between them.

The learning groups are not about giving tailor made solutions. The groups are spaces in which each person finds their voice, explores their reasons for living in particular ways and exercises their choices about possible ways forward, beyond distrust and conflict.

At the beginning of the course it is proposed that a learning contract is agreed at the outset such as:

• The facilitator states that apart from saying who people are, there is no pressure on people to speak unless they choose to.
• That silence is in order and there is to be no attempt to read people’s silence.
• The facilitator asks that people do not interrupt others and that, if people question each other, the person questioned has the right to ask the questioner what their personal interest in their question is.
• After hearing this reply, participants can still choose not to answer this question. This is to stop people using questions in power plays with others, often a feature in groups where people are not feeling very secure.
• The facilitator asks members to agree that the group has a “private culture”. A “private culture” means that while the themes discussed by group members can be spoken about outside the group, “who said what” will not be divulged in other company.