DH 7 Shared Rituals

DYNAMICS FOR HOPE 7 DH 7: SHARED RITUALS: WE ARE ALL TOGETHER AND DIFFERENT What is a ritual? In a ritual, for a moment, different people sharing something in common become one. In the ritual people are united through words, actions and commitments shared. In long established rituals those alive today* are linked with people who have lived before**. Rituals usually occur at designated times and usually at familiar places within a family, sporting, or cultural cycle of remembrance. In the ritual, a common belonging and identity is re-established at a moment in time. People then disperse until the ritual time comes round again! Rituals can be abused to scapegoat others by reinforcing the exclusive identity of the group. But, when it works well, ritual events strengthen the identity bonds between the members and end with all dispersing, free to get on with the rest of their lives. In secure societies people move on, not worrying about their identity. * Spatial Mimesis ** Temporal Mimesis

Established Rituals give shape and order to life. In rituals: we do things in a certain order and we bring to mind our common histories. we remember one another at different times, often annually. we shake hands, or hug, salute or wave to make all welcome. we do things together, eating meals, sharing old stories, telling old jokes, singing old songs, sharing certain forms of words, greetings or prayers. In old cultures, there are elaborate ‘rites of passage’ rituals we can benefit from examining. For example forms of peacemaking: sharing a ‘peace pipe’, welcoming circles; talking sticks; rituals of remorse and feasts. Rituals In Conflict Affected Cultures and Societies. The differences between people in conflict-affected cultures and societies are not necessarily individual. However the cultural or identity differences, for all, are often defined by the boundaries around the competing rituals, setting one group apart from the others. As an example, in the 1960’s when young people, especially those from working class backgrounds, fell in love across the opposed traditions in Northern Ireland, they often faced emotional intimidation and even physical threatl. Their individual experiences and wishes were not culturally permitted! In Northern Ireland then, a new ritual of solidarity was developed by some courageous adults and clergy, affirming the wish of people from different religious and cultural backgrounds to establish what were then called ‘mixed marriages’li. Some old rituals perpetuate fear in ‘the other’ . In conflict affected cultures and societies, the rituals of the opposed groups often involve identifying ‘the other group’, ritualising them being dominated, beaten or scapegoated. Thus rituals in conflict affected cultures and societies are often both rallying points for the members of one tradition or group to come together, and times where people from other excluded traditions or groups feel uneasy. The ‘other groups’ understand they are deliberately diminished and demeaned, the scapegoat. Although this is not often recognised by those participating in the ritual, it is felt deeply by those on the outside. Instead of resolving tensions, rituals in a conflict-affected society may divide people further, becoming points of potential tension and violence. As people increasingly discover that many old rituals do not acknowledge different others or worse, and are often celebrated at their expense, if people are to practically ‘nurture hope’ there is a challenge to create new events which, if repeated, can become new, more inclusive, rituals. One way for people from historically conflicting traditions wishing to signal their commitment to build new and different ways of living together, is to establish some new rituals.

The Search for new Rituals: More Rituals in Common As some local communities and many regions become more diverse, it is important that we find new ways to come together in our differences developing: rituals of celebration; rituals acknowledging our life together with different others; new rituals between diverse faith traditions; and rituals of inclusive citizenship. To move beyond conflict, for example after a peace agreement, means that people from historically opposed traditions and identities find new rituals expressing their new belonging together. It also is an opportunity for the historically opposed groups, now with some distance from the conflict, to find new ways to sensitively examine and understand, together and anew, their earlier conflicted histories and the rituals associated with them. In societies moving beyond conflict, any new inclusive rituals, where ‘different others’ come together, however small, are significant. This is what we mean by inclusion: finding contexts in which everyone knows, beyond doubt, that everyone belongs, and all accept the duties and rights that go with that belonging. Small inclusive experiences are fragile yet important, post conflict Inclusive ritual events signal a wish for a new and different way of living together around a common act of belonging. Such rituals probably have to develop in small ways. For example, even now, a proposallii to annually acknowledge all those killed in the conflict in Northern Ireland, on the longest day, the 21 June, is still not a universal and inclusive societal ritual! Small examples grow around people coming together in new cross-connecting groups around addressing social issues such as domestic abuse, poverty, and challenging cultures that groom young people for violence. Other examples grow when people from diverse traditions come together to celebrate the lives of people who have worked for the common good, locally and internationally.

Further examples in Northern Ireland are: people from historically conflicting traditions coming together to establish a new, shared institution such as an integrated school. people from diverse backgrounds and traditions coming together to support women and children in abusive relationships such as Women’s Aid. people with different sexual orientations standing together after violent actions against people of a specific orientation. a number of cross connecting rituals between people from different sporting traditions; local inter-denominational and inter- faith projects; and people setting up different community arts programmes and festivals that are explicit about their commitment to heal divisions, recruiting participants from all backgrounds. When people from a specific generation bring others from different generations into more inclusive events, patterns and structures become embedded. It is our experience that, in such initial small steps, people develop new rituals that unite. Rituals of Social Inclusion Initiatives such as those above, and more, bring previously separated people into relationships where they acknowledge one another and express their collective hopes. Once acknowledged, there is no going back to the old way of exclusion. These rituals signal new ways of being together, and, in these new ways, including becomes our only possibility. Through such experiences and rituals, our assumptions about what some people believe about the impossibility of ‘living together in difference’ dissolves and the future opens. We are no longer isolated. Such rituals carry us, connect us and embed new ways of living together.

DH 7: SHARED RITUALS: WE ARE ALL TOGETHER AND DIFFERENT:

Summary

When rituals work well: people come, participate and go on their way having had a great time together without thinking about it; those involved know that their ‘belonging together’ comes before other different and opposed beliefs and positions they might have; through the ritual, people, even those with very opposed views, might experience that belonging together renews their relationships, and assists them gain a renewed balance and commitment to one another; those who at other times are quiet, or unsure of their place, can feel included. In a sense, people find their voice through participating in all that goes on around them. Many rituals associated with conflict-affected societies do not join people together but deepen divisions. As our societies change, the need to make new, more inclusive rituals grow. People in societies emerging from conflict need to patiently, and deliberately, create new events that model a new spirit and hope between people from opposed traditions. Only in such a spirit will newcomers find a place. If you have come into the society recently, what invitations and rituals might you develop, with others, so that a new sense of belonging can be developed? What obstacles to making this gesture do you face? The vision behind ‘Nurturing Hope’ is that the small steps of people meeting and working together on issues we often are silent about are important. Such steps contribute to the building of new patterns of meeting and new relationships. In these small meetings, new rituals begin to evolve between us that transcend fear and distrust. In addition, the willingness to address the different and often competing religious, cultural and political perspectives between different people, through such meetings, will, in themselves, become new rituals.