RD 1 All Against One - The Victim Pays

RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC 1 RD1: ‘ALL AGAINST ONE - THE VICTIM PAYS’ Relationship Dynamic 1 may evoke uncomfortable memories if you or a group of which you are part has experienced scapegoating. If you wish, feel free to move on to the other materials and return to this structure at another time or in another context. You may also wish to have a friend or mental health professional to advise you on how to explore this theme. THE VICTIM PAYS “They are all together: I am all alone” SCAPEGOATING Generating One Difference, The Victim

Referring to the associated set of diagrams, a short description of the elements and phases of scapegoating within a group are outlined. Please try to get into the emotions of such dynamics, perhaps drawing on a bullying incident you witnessed, or even were part of! Phase 1: We are all together and different, we belong together. Phase 2: We become unsettled, for some reason. Phase 3: People increasingly interfere with one another’s space. We experience things becoming less secure. Phase 4: The impulse of ‘the many against some’ grows stronger. To secure a steadier order, individual differences dissolve, oppositional groups form.

Phase 5: The dynamic of “all against one” develops. In a twinkling of an eye, some of us appear to coalesce and isolate an ‘other’, on whom the badge of threat or difference can be placed. Phase 6: ‘Us’ versus ‘the one who is not us’ is secured. We unite over and against another, who we then drive out. We are all agreed, they are the cause. (However the scapegoat is never responsible for the chaos that leads to their expulsion.) Phase 7: Order is established, for a while! Those who remain, secure a peace ‘of sorts’. Stories or myths develop about this peace and how ‘we will be together as friends or associates, over and against other threats’. The victim is only spoken about in past terms. The order resulting from the scapegoat is secure only as long as the violence against the scapegoat is never spoken about.

RD1: ‘ALL AGAINST ONE - THE VICTIM PAYS Referring to the previous images the scapegoat mechanism progresses in phases, with a pattern of identifiable transitions. Joking, banter and ridicule can be the initial markers of scapegoating. Phase 1: We are all together and different. In the culture of many groups there are various degrees of what we in Ireland refer to as ‘joking’, ‘craic’, and ‘banter’. In the US there is ‘ribbing’, ‘picking on’, and ‘teasing’; in Korea it is ‘nolim’; in Japan it is ‘karakau’. At their mildest and least harmful, these are the ways in which a group defines itself through quips amongst friends, references to old experiences, gentle put-downs, well intended jokes and reminders of who is powerful or who thinks they are influential in the life of the group. When group membership is well established and nurtured by robust and strong relationships, these actions are at the center of the group’s rituals. As a rule, as long as praise and insults are equally traded around members, all the members taking their turn to be ‘mocked’, the group probably remains together. Phase 2. We become unsettled and uneasy. When such comments start to become more personally hurtful, tending towards ridicule of the behaviors or attributes of one or two members in particular, this is a sign of emerging uncertainty within the group. The group ceases to be enjoyable when increasingly only one or two members are isolated or humiliated by the whole group. In such a moment the old assumptions about the group are no longer secure. Phase 3. People increasingly interfere with one another’s space. A group of people initially at ease with one another may now find that they are uneasy and maybe even anxious with one another. Some members increasingly interfere with the space and freedom of others and erode the group’s structure. Phase 4. “The many against some grows stronger” A sub-group of members align themselves and, in the uncertain atmosphere of the group, the many, often without realising it, gather more to their cause. Left unchecked, there is a growth in harsh joking and demeaning comments. Group discourse reflects a loss of respect for one another and each other’s feelings. Comments and group behavior begin to slip into expressions of ridicule and disdain. Caught in this process, members of the group may not even realise what is happening. The group begins to divide into ‘us’ and ‘them’. Phase 5: The dynamic of “all against one ’ develops’ Unless checked, in ‘the twinkling of an eye’, the group dynamic subconsciously begins to divide into “us and them”. With a growing lack of structure, each member of the group searches for safety. Though not spoken about, this safety is generated by mobilising the unanimity of “all against one”. “The many”, acting with instantaneous agreement, identifies “the one” with some ‘alleged distinctive difference.’

Phase 6. “Us’ versus “the one who is not us” is secured. In a flash, the scapegoated person is identified, isolated and eventually excluded without any protectors. “I am all alone and they are all together” is now the experience of the scapegoated person. The scapegoat is never responsible for the chaos. Phase 7. Order is established, for a while. The scapegoat is driven out, isolated. For those who remain, they celebrate and there is no acknowledgement of what occurred. Over time stories and myths develop about that time in the history of the group, the violence never being acknowledged. Myths, histories, rituals evolve that all cover up the hidden violence of that action. Those who remain are silent and deny anything untoward happened. CONCLUSION: It is not just people in small groups of families and friends who scapegoat. It can also be part of the often unacknowledged history of organisations, competing identities, cultures, and national histories too. Those who are scapegoated are forgotten until, if they are fortunate and alive, someone stands with them and insists their stories are heard! When the scapegoating process is ‘successful’ in restoring peace to a group, the threat of violence associated with it is never acknowledged by those who did the scapegoating. The truth about what happened remains hidden. This is why the dynamic needs to be exposed and more widely understood, if we are to nurture hope. It is our shared responsibility to develop societal ways and means to challenge the prevalence of such abusive practices in private, public and civic life. The victims have already suffered enough; this is not a responsibility we can place on them alone. Thankfully we live in times when it is more difficult to hide the actions and crimes related to scapegoating. More and more people are prepared to stand alongside those who have been or are being bullied, victimised or scapegoated. And yet, scapegoating persists. Continued reflections on the choices that contribute to it are required of us all. In the sections that follow we use the term scapegoating to cover actions variously referred to as intimidation, victimisation and bullying. They all create dynamics in which people: • are made uncomfortable, • lose their place, • sometimes lose their name and identity in some manner, • are moved to the edge of the group, and • are isolated and even ejected or driven out.

RD1: ‘ALL AGAINST ONE - THE VICTIM PAYS

Summary

Scapegoating processes have considerable power when they are not acknowledged and allowed to remain invisible. When they are not named for what they are - violent and demeaning actions against a fellow human being - they are readily repeated. When we have the individual and group courage to openly name scapegoating and accept our oen responsibility, we have the possibility of finding our way to freedom with one another. When the informal cultures and rules of groups are opposed to bullying and scapegoating, such ways are harder to mobilise. When such actions are condemned by the codes of conduct of an organisation or institution they are harder to mobilise! However people need to be continually vigilant because such things can happen in an instant, if unchecked!